Lady Margaret Cowell Stepney

The Letters of Margaret Cowell Stepney

Whilst reading through the privately published papers of Lady Margaret Stepney an insight is given into the life of the aristocracy and the way they moved from one country or town house to another, apparently unaware of the day-to-day life of their tenants and workers who partly funded their lifestyle. Her husband (later Sir Arthur) was described by her as having mental problems and was advised by doctors to live abroad. He was a well educated much travelled aristocrat whilst his wife Lady Stepney on the other hand seemed to live in a romantic novelette world.

It is not hard to see why, shortly after the birth of their only child, Sir Arthur preferred to travel. According to her Diaries she said he did not think that their newly-born daughter was his and he suggested that many men had visited her bedchamber.

Whatever the truth they never lived together after October 1876 and he spent most of his time abroad. However in later years he did visit his daughter regularly and tried to obtain custody but failed when Lady Stepney took the case to the High Court and she was granted custody.

Sir Arthur was said to be delighted at the birth of his daughter (which he is said by Lady Stepney to have denied was his child) and provided for her, encouraging her education. He must have accepted that she was his daughter because he named her as his successor.

Lady Stepney wrote many letters about her situation, especially to Mr & Mrs Gladstone who were family friends and looking back now the letters seem to be a cry for attention.

In one letter she complained that her daughter Alcy had accused her of neglecting her, paying too much attention to her young cousins and friends.

There follows a selection of letters from Lady Stepney which make quite interesting reading. Most of them relate to her failed marriage and the fact that her husband no longer lived with her.

The one about her daughter being named Alcycone, (Alcy) shows how Lady Stepney appeared to live in a fictional world and seemingly far removed from reality.

The letters were arranged by Blanch Eliott Lockhart in 1926 and printed for private circulation.

That, of course, is just my personal view – Benita Afan-Rees

The Letters of Margaret Cowell Stepney

15 Marine Parade, Brighton.

To Mary Gladstone,

You must think me something like a beast! – but if you knew what a lot I have had to do and to think of since I have been well enough to move. Thank you dearest Mary so much for your nice little letter. I got it after I was taken bad, and Arthur read it to me. It was so nice to know you were thinking of me and that you would be thankful for me when you heard next day that I was well and safe. My baby is lovely (September 12th).

You will appreciate her – she is called Alcyone, because I was always fond of the legend of the Kingfishers and liked Alcyone’s character. You know she was so unhappy at the death of her husband that she threw herself into to sea and the Gods in mercy changed her into a Kingfisher – that is why you know they are called Halcyons or birds of peace – because they build their nests floating on top of the waves. But the christening has not yet taken place and perhaps we shall give her less heathen names after all. I am here with Sister for a little change eating shrimps and getting on my legs and I am very well but very miserable and wretched.

My husband has not been well lately and has been advised to go abroad for a little so he has gone now I am up again and he is going to travel with Mr Villers Lister. To some wives this would be a trial – but it is not at all at trial to me. It is a sort of death – simply a stopping of all life and interest till he comes back again. I wonder if other married people feel like this?

I am going back to London directly and I have not heart to make plans.

Editor’s Note

He took a whim into his head that Alcy was not his child – when someone argued he said she must be and that Lady Stepney was perfectly good, he said you should see the crowds of men who come into her bedroom. Quite mad – a monomania (madness confined to one subject.)

Woodend, Sunday 1876

To Mrs Gladstone,

I write to tell you that I have arrived here with my Baby and Sister – and also that my dear Arthur came back to St George’s Place a few hours after he heard I had gone. It is nice to know that he is safe at home again thought I need not tell you how better it is to be here alone again in our own little home, where I have never been for one day without him before.

I have not hope yet, for I hear from all accounts that he is still in the same sad state of mind, but I know very little yet.

You will come and see me soon I hope dear Mrs Gladstone.

Yours ever loving

Margaret Cowell Stepney

1902, The Dell, Llanelly (Spring)

Too long to write about things here and a little dull. The crisis is only about agents and business, nothing vital but we are up to our necks in it all and hardly time to look round at the wonderful beauty of spring here. Such woods of flowers as I never saw, quite tropical. It is most beautiful – if only one were well and a little more in spirits.

It is still so mad here. We are cleaning out two rooms full of papers and letters – one is this sitting room, which till now is so fearful we have to tidy a bit with a view to letting the place.

The almanack [sic] and clock stopped on the day he left, nearly two years ago and not one has been in since!!! All is full of his presence. Every open letter on the floor, is thanks for some subscription or help or kindness done – and the little books littered around are on every subject under the sun and in every language. A noble – very wide – marvellously cultivated intensely generous life, would be the verdict of anyone studying that room. Deep tenderness – love for everything and every object worth caring for. A man of immense knowledge – an artist of great capacity. All this is writ large round the room and everywhere is the thought of Alcy.

Strange lives we three Stepneys.

Editor’s Note

This is a very interesting letter when you consider how Llanelli must have looked with dirty smoke belching out everywhere from the many tinplate works, lead works copper works and iron foundries etc.

The Dell was outside the main town in the village of Furnace but saying that it would be hard to ignore the signs of industry. This letter also shows how generous Sir Arthur Stepney was. He was not only generous to his estranged wife and daughter but to the town. He is known to have donated money, books and provided Christmas cheer for his tenant farmers, the poor and needy and inmates of the workhouse.

Even when he went abroad he wrote advising of prospective markets for tinplate in the canneries of Canada and Australia.